Thursday, May 31, 2012

a spray tanning experience.

Have any of you [if anyone even reads this thing] ever been spray tanning?
I never had, until last night.

Cam's sister, Heather, and I went to Planet Beach here in Logan.
We had buy one get one free coupons.
Since we're going to California on Monday, it's worth a try, right?

I'm not so sure now.

Let me just start off by saying that it's weird. freaky weird.
We get there and the girls at the front desk were super snotty! Kind of made me feel stupid because I'd never done this before. Rude.
They made me fill out a release form but they didn't make Heather fill one out. weird. even though neither of us ahd been there before.
So she went back first.
One of the gals went back with her and told her what to do. she was gone for like 15 minutes. ish. it may have felt longer than it really was because I was sitting there in the lobby by myself.
While i'm sitting there, this guy comes out that I could tell works out, lifts, you know the type. he sits there for a minute as I look around self-consciously and try not to make eye contact. Then this lady comes out that is VERY well defined and tan and could totally kick my a. She doesn't even recognize my presence, her man stands up and they head out the door like the beautiful tanned and toned body gods they think/know they are.
Now that I'm feeling incredibly self concious because I am no where near as gorgeous as that woman, Heather comes out and it's my turn! I asked her how it was and she said "It was fine! weird, but fine."
One of the other gal's working there walks me back to my little booth and tells me what to do. At this point, I'm feeling pretty good! If heather can do it, then I can totally do it. right? right.

So, my little tanning assistant leaves [she was nice this time] and i'm following her instructions as I review them in my head.
Get naked, lotion, get in. the weird lady will talk to me and i won't be able to understand her. Stand like a weirdo/deformed crab. when it stops spraying turn around. oh. and hold your breath because it tastes gross. got it.
The first two steps went flawlessly. Nothing too difficult about taking off my clothes and putting lotion on my hands, feet, knees and elbows.
Next, get in.
Should be easy enough right?
There's some weird sensor thing that you have to wave your hand over to close the door on the outside, but you're on the inside. The first time I waved my hand over it, the lady said "door closing" like those robots in the movies.The door didn't even close all the way!
So here I am, naked in this weird booth thing that keeps talking to me and i can't get it to shut or give me the freaking tan! I was freaking out a little.
I finally calmed down enough to try getting the door to close again. Success!
Okay, now what? There are more weird sensors that you have to touch/wave your hand in front of/do the hokey pokey for. I finally figured out how to make it go. Lady starts talking again. No idea what she said. I'm trying to remember to hold my breath, but as soon as the spray starts, it kind of really scared me. At this point, I'm no longer holding my breath, but it tastes gross and its not very easy to breath in air with out breathing in misty paint.
So I start hyperventilating. No lie. Finally, it stops spraying. But i'm not done. Still gotta do the back. I turn around as I'm trying to breath but the air has totally turned into a cloud of body paint. Breathing is entirely out of the question. Next to impossible. 
I continue hyperventilating as the back of me gets sprayed.

30 horrible seconds later, it finally stops. Door opens. Cloud rushes out, I rush out. Then I remember that my friend Amber told me to stand there for a minute afterwards so that my tan can dry. So I'm standing there, arms and legs apart so my tan doesn't run, waiting for me to dry a little.
I've finally escaped from the space pod of death and just want to leave.
but no. 
I have to save my tan. 
Finally, time passes and I'm no longer forced to just stand there. [Of course, I'm the one forcing myself to do this... haha]
Pat dry.
Don't rub or wipe because then it streaks which is even worse.
I dry off as quickly as possible. Get dressed. Throw my towel on the chair, and walk rapidly down the hallway back to the lobby where my sister in law is waiting ever so patiently for me to finish. I emerge, feeling a bit disheveled and even more self-conscious, like everyone there knows that I totally freaked out. even the people walking past this place know it. I can see it on their faces. They know what a big
Heather asks "How was it?"
me: "Just fine. a little weird, but good."

liar. i am a liar.
a liar with the best poker face ever!
She didn't suspect a thing.
She thinks that I am the best spray tan getter ever. because I totally played it off all nonchalantly like I've done this a million times when in reality I've been freaking out for the last 10 minutes.
We drive home, she drops me off, and tells me that we'll see how it all looks in a couple hours. [We did the one that goes on clear and slowly fades into a tan. awesome.]
She leaves. Cam's on the phone, so I can't even tell him about my traumatic experience.
I'm slowly getting a headache and I keep burping. Pretty sure I may have swallowed spray tan. or spray tanned my brain. Either way. It's no fun. 
I go lay down on the couch and turn on some grey's anatomy [my latest addiction]. Headache progesses into migraine. Definitely could have thrown up if I had let myself. I may or may not be allergic to spray tans. or maybe just breathing them in.
Also, i couldn't shower for 4 hours afterwards, so my skin is a little sticky and feels weird, like i've been swimming and haven't showered yet, only weirder. 
My routine this morning: wake up, run, shower.
Check out my tan in the mirror. I'm definitely a little darker! which is lovely!
i like color :)
but, my hand's are darker than the rest of my body.. and i have a splotch on my right under arm. My dark hands may drive me insane. Hopefully they fade faster than the rest of my body...

But i did it! and I didn't even have any nightmares!
California, here we come!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012


Someday, I would really like one of these. Isn't it so cute?

Photo found here.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Date Night :)

Last night, Cam and I planned on going to the movies to see The Avengers.
Well, it was sold out by the time we got there. Bummer.
So instead, we drove up the canyon and talked about life and babies and school and anything that came to mind... I love nights like last night. 
They remind me of how much I love Cameron.
He is my best friend, and I'm so thankful that we are a family!

We then went through the McDonalds drive-up and got some vanilla ice cream to wrap up the evening.

Definitely a good night :)